I was a single mom for over 10 years and that meant two things; I had very little time to myself, and I had very little money. I was also a “high functioning” alcoholic who had a rising career at a medical diagnostics company and was extremely involved in all of my kids’ activities.

Because I didn’t have time, I never went out to bars to drink, preferring to nurture my love of cooking and pairing my dishes with the perfect bottle of wine (for one). And because I didn’t have money, the only time I drank away from home was on business trips when there was an open bar or at parties (both work and social).

I didn’t have time to make many friends, and quite frankly, I didn’t want anyone to know how much I drank in private. In my mind, I was drinking to cope with all the stressors in my life and it was none of anyone else’s business, especially because I was coping so well (or so I thought).

When I finally decided to get sober, I knew that I needed help.

My home was my “bar” so there was nowhere one safe for me to hide out until I got through the cravings. I went to AA and was desperate enough to do all the things they suggested. I got a sponsor, I went to meetings every day, I got involved in sober social activities, and I started to learn how to make friends. Over the first year, I slowly started to come out of the fog and build a community. I found myself becoming dear friends with people who were previously homeless, a group of sober bikers, and many “blue collar” workers, all of whom were as kind and generous as I have ever encountered. They included me and my kids at parties and on camping trips. They were there to lift me up when I was feeling shaky and celebrate with me as I clocked days, then months, then years of sobriety.

I have deep and abiding gratitude to both Alcoholics Anonymous and those friends for helping me do the work to remake my life as a fully functioning sober member of society.

My challenge was that I didn’t have any role models for the professional life I was living.

I regularly traveled to conferences where it was my job to take our KOLs and speakers out to “wine and dine” them. I was expected to attend the networking events to cultivate new relationships. Back at the office, our team would go out after work to unwind at various happy hour spots and celebrate at our semi-annual sales meetings or holiday parties. No one in my AA circle lived this life. Their best advice was to have an “exit plan” if I got too tempted. But when I had to pay the bill or sit through an awards dinner or develop a new relationship, I couldn’t very well just exit.

I also found myself unable to talk through my goals and ambitions with my sober community.

My friends were grateful for a regular paycheck and their challenges centered around how to make ends meet. I, on the other hand, was striving for a promotion to a Director position and thinking through how to navigate the next business event without anyone finding out I was sober. Neither set of challenges is better or worse than the other, it was just different. And I didn’t have anybody to ask how to do these things.

It’s only been recently that I have gone public with my sobriety. All these years, I felt like an outsider looking in whenever I travel for work because connections are still made and strengthened over drinks. Today, I run my own business and networking is more important than ever. So I go to the conferences, the dinners, the parties, and up until recently, I got my club soda and lime and smiled as people around me “loosened up”.

Being a part of Sober Life Rocks, I finally have people I can talk to about these moments.

I’m now connected to people like me who are ambitious and successful and navigating an alcohol-forward business world. I have met people who don’t drink for all kinds of reasons and others who choose not to drink at business events. We all share some common frustrations:

1. There are few to no options to drink if you don’t want alcohol or your sober.

Remember my club soda and lime? For 19 years, this has been my go-to because it looks like a drink and doesn’t have sugar and caffeine (like coke). This or water have been my only options.

Why can’t there be adult beverages that are alcohol-free? I recently went to a conference where they tried to be more inclusive and there were two options: lemonade and cherry lime. I’m grateful for the effort, but these don’t qualify as adult beverages to me.

2. There are few to no options to network where the currency isn’t drinking.

“Let’s meet at the bar”, “You’re invited to the after party hosted by xyz company”, and group dinners that start with cocktails and move onto the wine list before food is ever considered…

What if lunch times were lengthened and networking events were added during this time? What if a company used the money they spent on these after-parties towards renting out a bowling alley or bringing in a local charity that attendees could learn about and support?

3. I didn’t know anyone else who didn’t drink and felt alone in a crowd.

I got sober in 2005 and there was still a significant stigma around being “an alcoholic’, even one who was in recovery. I learned to deflect questions and comments and kept it hidden from everyone in my professional life for almost 19 years. The end result was that I didn’t know anyone else who didn’t drink at these events and felt lonely I watched everyone else laughing about their nighttime antics.

Today I am proud to be a founder of Sober Life Rocks, a community of professionals who choose not to drink for whatever reason. I have amazing conversations with fellow members at our online networking meetings. Now when I go to a conference, I reach out to the group to find out who else is attending and have a built-in group I can hang out with. And on days when my professional life demands I go to the alcohol-forward events, I can text a friend who knows what to say to lighten my mood.

I look at Sober Life Rocks as an addition to anyone’s recovery, whether that is AA or something else.

It’s the missing piece for professionals who don’t drink and want a place to call home. Although my kids are grown, I still don’t have lots of spare time or spare money, but I do have community, purpose and sobriety.